The Thoughts of Me

I feel like I’ve ruined everything. I just wish everything was back to what it was this morning. I wish I didn’t bring up moving out. I just wish I could keep my fucking mouth shut. Then I wouldn’t be in this mess. Dragging everybody down with me. I don’t want my mom and my boyfriend’s mom to fight about this. I want everybody to get along. Its my damn choice. So what if she offered. It isn’t shitty of her. And yeah she does support her son. You don’t know. I want to move out mom. I am so stressed living here. Everything gets put on me. I hate it. I need independence. I can get that if I move out. I will have to get a job and pay rent. Even though I will be living with his family. I just can’t stand this. What have I done? I’m sorry.. I really am. If I would have known this was going to happen I would have kept it to myself. I did ruin everything.

I gave you two days.. two fucking days. 

You knew it was my birthday yesterday. A very important birthday. I turned fucking 18! Any other birthday I could have cared less about, but you didn’t text, call, or even post a happy birthday message on my stupid facebook. That fucking hurts. I was there for yours. And you couldn’t even text me for mine. And you even knew it was my birthday. You called grandpa while he was at my house and bitched him out for being at my house on my birthday when he couldn’t make it to yours because he had to WORK! Get over it. Thanks alot. All I wanted was a simple happy birthday from my cousin. All I’ve ever wanted, my whole life, was your attention and for you to be proud of me. I haven’t talked to you in months. You know what? I’m enrolled in college already, I have the most amazing boyfriend, and I pretty much have lost most of my friends that I had before, but I made new, amazing ones too. But you don’t know any of that. And I doubt you even care. I love you. But I also can’t stand you sometimes. You hurt me.

I just want to upload my prom pictures and my boyfriend’s softball pictures :l

And my senior prom is tonight. Its gonna be a good day!

a store where you can buy all the things you see in tumblr

Like the color of the sky.. That would be fucking awesome.

(Just a thought)

Just keep swimming.. just keep swimming. Just keep swimming swimming swimming. What do we do we swim swim swim!!

GET OFF YOUR FUCKING HIGH HORSE!! :)

Trust me, I have better ways to waste my time than to try and piss you off. 

Get over yourself.